Happy people have always fascinated me. As a true Gemini, I think I have the happy-just-because thing down-pat about 50% of the time. However, I embrace some dark places just as easily and just as often.
The older I get, the more I TRY to be one of those happy people. But perhaps the older I get, the more I have to accept that I'm just not one of those people?
I should be happy, if for no other reason, I am lucky enough to live in Canada. I have a wonderful husband, an awesome kid, I have a home and a car and clothes on my back and food on my table. I have a good family and we are happy and healthy, for the most part. I've seen misery and suffering and I am not part of it.
So why is it so hard to be and stay happy? How can the life that has me humming and put a spring in my step one day be the same life that I have no interest in, the next?
Granted, I'm sick at the moment, life has had some disappointments lately, and we've just had a huge change in life/routine with my daughter starting Kindergarten. I keep trying to think of what I could change or what I need to make me happy but I can't think of anything. So many people say, "I'll be happy when..." but why can't we just be happy now?
What do the Happy People have that I don't? Is it a personality thing? Did they learn the art of Being Happy and Coping with Change from their parents? My grandparents and great grandparents seemed to cope well enough and they had it way rougher than I ever have. Were they just hardier people or if I had the chance to really know them, would they have admitted to feeling the same as I do?
How do you remain happy when plugging away at the million things you HAVE to do every day knowing you probably won't have time or energy to do the other million things that you'd LIKE to do?
Is there such a thing as a truly Happy Person? Does happy just come in moments? Did I just make some bad choices? If so, what would I be happier doing? I dunno.
Maybe I just need to wait it out. I'll probably be back to humming and skipping when I walk tomorrow.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Friday, September 24, 2010
Weeb started Kindergarten September 7th. The first two weeks was a crazy schedule of school starting at various times, for various lengths of time. It was chaotic to say the very least. Wonko and I either took vacation time or worked from home to be with Weeb. It was wonderful and hectic, at the same time.
After a week and a bit, the kids were assigned their teacher. Weeb got Mrs. E, who has a split Kindergarten / Grade 1 class. A lot of mothers hoped their kid wouldn't be in the split class, but Weeb is advanced academically and used to being in a 50+ kid preschool so I figured it was a good spot for her.
On the Thursday of the second week, Weeb had her first full day of school. I realized when I picked her up that she had no idea where the bathrooms were. She SAID she did, but since she couldn't show them to me, I was onto the fact that she had not gone to the bathroom at school in the two weeks she'd been there. So we asked the teacher where they were and off we went.
The bathrooms are down the hall from Weeb's classroom. They are big and have an echo and Weeb was freaked. She didn't like that anyone could come in at any time. She didn't like locking herself into a stall. She didn't like the sound of the bathroom. She freaked out at the idea of flushing. She insisted she would go when we got home, but I am a stubborn momma and insisted we weren't going anywhere until she went pee and flushed. My poor girl, she was not happy with me. But she did it! We went back to her classroom and let her teacher know that she was a bit nervous about the bathrooms and she suggested Weeb bring a buddy with her the next day.
Friday when I asked Weeb if she went to the bathroom she said yes, she'd gone with a buddy. Then I learned that they didn't go pee, they just went down there and washed their hands. Okay, it's a start. So I dragged her back to the bathroom and she went. Then I made her flush. She was not happy with me again. After she flushed she decided it wasn't a big deal. She managed to go to the bathroom all week, this week. She doesn't love the bathrooms, but she's not terrified, so that's good for now.
This week they had a fire drill. In the morning their teacher advised them that they would be having a fire drill and a loud bell would sound. Weeb was not happy about this. She doesn't like the school bells as they are quite loud and make a little girl who is very involved with whatever she is daydreaming about or playing with JUMP! She managed to get so anxious knowing that the fire drill was coming that she cried for a good deal of the morning. She was happy again at lunch but was back to loud sobbing after lunch was over. Finally they had the fire drill and she shrugged it off and said, "We did the same thing at my preschool." Ah, anticipation anxiety! My poor girl is just a bit too much like her mother!
I think most of the kids in Weeb's class have older siblings so they are used to being in the school environment. Weeb's older siblings are in another province so this whole big school thing is new to her (and me!) and is a bit daunting. It seems as though she's adjusting well now.
We have our first Pro-D Day today. It's just as well since the landlord is here fixing up some stuff in the house and we have a contractor from the strata coming to deal with a leaky pipe in our kitchen ceiling. Hopefully that won't take too long to sort out. Oh and I seem to have a cold. It's not terrible, but it's sucking enough that I'm glad nobody was available to watch Weeb this morning so I had the perfect excuse to take the day off.
The weather is definitely telling us that Autumn is here. It's colder and rainy. I have great plans to get this house as uncluttered as possible as the mess is making me insane! Our new routines are falling into place and I am going to attempt to get back to my writing. We shall see. Maybe another week or two into this Kindergarten thing and we'll all be feeling 'normal' again. Well, until the next thing comes up and throws us off. Bring it Universe - we got our kid successfully into Kindergarten without breaking her, we can do ANYTHING!
And now a picture of rocks and pebbles (what is the difference between a rock and a pebble?) that I likely got off the internet at some point. Why have I posted a picture of rocks / pebbles? Because Weeb digs collecting rocks and pebbles. I direct you back to the comment that my kid is a lot like me. Sometimes that's NOT a bad thing.
Edit to add: A rock has a rough surface, a pebble has a smooth surface. You'll have to sort out your opinion on the picture above for yourself. I'm going to call them rockles. The Kindergarten Kid concurs.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
This is a picture of Weeb and her cousin J. Weeb drew it on a paper plate tambourine that the girls made with Grandma and Grandpa this week. I think the picture is incredibly cute. Weeb has drawn J in purple, which is J's favorite color. Weeb drew herself pink because that is her current favorite color. She's even got J's curly hair. I love that they are holding hands. Even more, I love that this is what my daughter draws pictures of. I think it's so cute and it just speaks volumes about who my nearly 5 year old daughter is.