Happy people have always fascinated me. As a true Gemini, I think I have the happy-just-because thing down-pat about 50% of the time. However, I embrace some dark places just as easily and just as often.
The older I get, the more I TRY to be one of those happy people. But perhaps the older I get, the more I have to accept that I'm just not one of those people?
I should be happy, if for no other reason, I am lucky enough to live in Canada. I have a wonderful husband, an awesome kid, I have a home and a car and clothes on my back and food on my table. I have a good family and we are happy and healthy, for the most part. I've seen misery and suffering and I am not part of it.
So why is it so hard to be and stay happy? How can the life that has me humming and put a spring in my step one day be the same life that I have no interest in, the next?
Granted, I'm sick at the moment, life has had some disappointments lately, and we've just had a huge change in life/routine with my daughter starting Kindergarten. I keep trying to think of what I could change or what I need to make me happy but I can't think of anything. So many people say, "I'll be happy when..." but why can't we just be happy now?
What do the Happy People have that I don't? Is it a personality thing? Did they learn the art of Being Happy and Coping with Change from their parents? My grandparents and great grandparents seemed to cope well enough and they had it way rougher than I ever have. Were they just hardier people or if I had the chance to really know them, would they have admitted to feeling the same as I do?
How do you remain happy when plugging away at the million things you HAVE to do every day knowing you probably won't have time or energy to do the other million things that you'd LIKE to do?
Is there such a thing as a truly Happy Person? Does happy just come in moments? Did I just make some bad choices? If so, what would I be happier doing? I dunno.
Maybe I just need to wait it out. I'll probably be back to humming and skipping when I walk tomorrow.
I don't think Happiness is a destination. I don't think it's a place you "get to" or a place you "stay in." It's a path you have to choose to be on. And I know I've been mighty disappointed in myself when I've spent too much time walking on the cranky path. I also know I'm amazed and humbled by some of the "happy people" I've seen ... online. But you know what? Those vignettes are vignettes. They aren't the whole story, and I'm sure those people have walked down the crabby path more than they'd like any of us to know. I think it's easier to walk down the happy path when we know that other people are "imperfect" too.
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