Wednesday, November 2, 2011


Dear Crazy Neighbor,

You have often proven your instability by doing things like making quacking noises while alone in our complex pool, and playing the same Justin Bieber song over and over and over again at absurd volumes (so glad we share a townhouse wall) in the middle of the day or just after normal kids our childrens' ages would be going to bed. You're a grown man, listening to Justin Bieber. There is something very wrong with that.

The loud and equally strange fights you and your wife have are also keeping you high on my crazy list - but my family and I thank you for no longer having them at 2AM. Your decision to throw an assortment of frozen vegetables on the ground outside the drivers side of your car may have been a kind offering to the birds or perhaps one of your children dumped some lunch left overs (much to the horror of the guy who parks next to you on that side - he also thinks you're insane, by the way, and he's not exactly the picture of normal either!). You are the poster boy for Unstable.

Today, Fever Girl (day 4) and I were heading to the parking lot on the way to get lunch. When Fever Girl finally has an appetite, she can have whatever she wants and she wanted Chicken McNuggets. As we got to the car, we realized that you had added to the Halloween decorations that are still up in front of your house.

I get that it's Day of the Dead in Mexico. I get that several other cultures have similar celebrations around November 1st and 2nd. But you are as white as I am. And what you added, though cool Halloween decorations, are not especially Day of the Dead-ish. They are more 'added two days after Halloween because I am a total and complete nutter'-ish.

I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that perhaps you just got these on sale and are displaying them for your children to observe as they get home from school. Perhaps it's another demonstration to your wife that you are completely insane and should be back on your medication. Nah, I'm just going to continue to believe you are a full on nut job.

And you need a boot to the head.

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