Sunday, February 7, 2010

DAYCARE, KINDERGARTEN AND SAHM ENVY

I am a mother who works full time. I went through the hell that most new moms go through when Maternity Leave is over and the idea of handing our kid/s off to strangers for the work day becomes a reality. We don't want to do it. Not many of us have a choice, these days.

We put our daughter into daycare two weeks before her first birthday. It was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. She stayed at that daycare facility until we were told we had to leave because the facility broke rules and had too many children under the age of two years old. We went through hell a second time to find another daycare that we could trust and now we had a bad experience under our belts. Luckily, we found another facility that we liked and, after several months, unfortunately had another bad experience. Looking for our third daycare, I think I would have done ANYTHING to be a stay at home mom, but it still was not an option and luckily, we found a spot in an amazing Montessori Child Care Centre for our daughter.

Several weeks ago, we registered our daughter for Kindergarten. After some governmental drama, we learned that our school had Full Day Kindergarten, which we had hoped for. Our daughter has been in daycare since she was a year old and been in a preschool environment for two years. The idea of two and a half hours for Kindergarten seems absurd to me. It's a hassle for working parents and if the child is in care, it's just rushing them off to yet another place during the day. And I won't lie, I was ecstatic at the idea of no longer paying such high child care costs!

Our family will be in a position, come September, where I can work part time. I am about to present an offer to my current employer, reducing my hours so I can pick my daughter up from school once Kindergarten starts. I am overjoyed at this idea. It means getting up earlier in the mornings and being out of the house before my husband and daughter wake up. It means we still need to find an hour or two of care for her in the mornings, before school starts. But it means I will be there for her, at the end of the day and end up having more time with her than I do now.

I'm greedy, I want to take my child to school AND be there to pick her up. Beyond the benefits to both her and my husband (who currently takes her to preschool in the mornings) the very thought of having time to clean my house (and do other chores) when my kid is at school, instead of the sad attempt to rush it into our lives on the weekend or after work, makes me a step away from giddy!

We've thought about me becoming a stay at home mom (SAHM). We could probably pull it off. We would be much tighter with money, but the family would, theoretically, be happier if I had more time to take care of them and take care of our home. I wonder if I am disciplined enough to actually do it though.

Everything is so rushed now. After working full time and picking up my daughter, and making dinner and cleaning up after dinner and spending a bit of time with my daughter and getting her to bed, I am pooped! And I have a wonderful partner who helps! Chores often fall to the bottom of the 'to do' list. Groceries are gathered at weekends. Bathrooms, vacuuming, mending, all chores are left to the weekend, which makes weekends very fast paced, especially if you add in any classes and visits with Grandma, Grandpa and cousins. And I'm lazy - I like movies and video games and time to myself. It's hard to manage a busy week and even harder to manage a busy weekend. Prioritizing is something I've become very good at, though the dust in my dining room might beg to differ.

As I sit at the computer on a Sunday afternoon, the laundry is tumbling in the washer, dinner is in the oven, and I contemplate the coming busy week. Maybe if I were a SAHM, I'd have time to properly clean this house and maybe write the novel that would make us rich. More than likely, I'd end up watching soaps and the potato chips in the cupboard would disappear.

At the moment, working vs. becoming a stay at home mom is still up in the air. It will sort itself out. It usually does.

3 comments:

  1. I hope you find your perfect balance of work life and home life and that the magic chore fairy shows up on your doorstep!

    Being a parent sure isn't easy and the choices we are forced into sure don't make it any easier!

    Have a wonderful week!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hello, Stranger!

    One link leads to another and here you are. :)

    I know you'll figure out what is best for your family. You always have.

    Wishing you well~
    ~knitter

    ReplyDelete
  3. It's so nice to see some faces here that I haven't seen in so long! Missed you guys! :)

    ReplyDelete