BIKES AND BODIES AND BOOTS (TO THE HEAD)

We went out briefly tonight. But that's not really interesting.

The interesting bit happened on the drive home.

We were turning right, off a main street, to a side street when we noticed a body and a bike lying in the crosswalk of the main street.

We stopped the car. Wonko hopped out. I turned the car off and called 911, because, you know, body and a bike in the street!

I thought, momentarily, that it was odd that they were lying so straight, on their back, in the crosswalk. And why was the bike at his head? And why couldn't I see a face? Then I thought back to an event in my teen days where a friend of a friend had been drunk and passed out on a road and been hit by a car (he didn't die, but it didn't have an especially happy ending).

Two women were on the sidewalk, watching. I got out of the car to see better. Poor Weeb kept asking what was going on and I told her that we thought someone needed our help and I was calling 911.

As the 911 operator answered (very quickly, I might add; I've always been impressed with our 911 service), Wonko was walking back to me, then he turned and went back to the body and dragged what was now very clearly NOT a body, to the sidewalk.

I apologized to the 911 operator and explained that we thought someone was in the crosswalk, but it turned out to be a bike, and clothes stuffed with paper to look like a body. And it was covered in ketchup.

Yeah, you read that right.

The 911 operator explained he still had to transfer me to the police. Now I'm explaining to a police officer what had happened. He seemed confused as to why I was transfered from 911 if it was a prank. I explained the 911 operator said they had to transfer me. Then I suggested that they might want to send a car since Wonko had just dragged the stuff to the sidewalk and the A-Hole pranksters might just drag it back to the street.

When I say this was in the crosswalk, I'm saying if a car had been driving in that lane, it would have run over 'the body'. Or at least screeched to a halt trying to avoid it. And how would you feel on a nice Saturday night if you'd hit something with your car? I know I'd want to hurl.

I will say that another fellow was driving from the side street onto the main street when he saw our car stopped, doors open and Wonko pulling something off the road, and this guy got out of his car and offered to help. Hats off to you, dude!

And a big thumbs up to my brave little Weeb who kept her cool in the car!

So to the kind pranksters who covered my husband in ketchup, gave me a heart attack and freaked out my kid, BOOT TO THE HEAD.