WHAT TIME IS IT MISTER WOLF?

I have many clocks and watches available to me at any given moment. None of them tell the time as much as they suggest what it might be.

Sitting at my computer, I can see the time on my computer, the DVR, the cordless phone, my cell phone, my iTouch and my watch, and NONE of them tell the same time. I can lose ten minutes looking from one gadget to the next.

(Photo nabbed from some unsuspecting website, somewhere or other.)

I have the same problem at work. The phone, my computer, the server, the fax machine and the thermostat all tell different times. I can never seem to get out of the office on time - I end up five minutes early or ten minutes late.

I can lose hours just walking from my living room to my kitchen!

With all the fancy shmancy technology that I'm forced to deal with on a daily basis, you'd think something would be able to make all the clocks in my life tell the same time.

I'd be content just to know what gadget is actually telling me the correct time.

Maybe this is what Einstein was really talking about. Time is relevant, indeed!

HIGH WIRE SNEAKERS

I don't know if this happens everywhere, but here, it is not unusual to see sneakers hanging from power lines.

I have no idea how they get up there. I imagine they are tossed up there, but I also imagine you must have a pretty good arm to get them up that high.

So are there groups of shoe thieves out there attacking unsuspecting, large footed people donned in running shoes, snatching said shoes, tying the laces together and then pitching them up on these wires? Do the victims of shoe thievery just walk home in their socks? Do the thieving pitchers get bonus points if they get them up there on the first toss?

Or are people doing this to their own shoes on purpose? Maybe it's like tagging (graffiti)? Maybe it's just a way of saying, "I was here! And my feet are large! And I need new shoes!"

It's no digger in a ditch, yet it still fascinates me and Weeb every time we see them. This particular shoe-y ornament has graced the power lines outside the corner store near our house. They've been there for the better part of a year, maybe more. Every time we drive or walk by, Weeb says, "They're still there." And then I say, "Yup." Yeah, it's not a big conversation starter, but it is still a moment for us.

So thank you, shoe tossing strangers, for this interesting little conversation piece (however brief the conversation may be).

HEY GUY IN THE BIG RED PICK-UP TRUCK, DRIVING BEHIND ME TODAY!

So you're a little guy wearing a toque and driving a big red pick-up truck with a mini-dog peering out the front windshield.

I'm not really sure what you're trying to say about yourself.

Isn't this an awesome picture? I took it with my phone. No, really! Okay, not really.

HEY, DUDE WALKING SOMEWHERE, THIS MORNING!

Being a skinny guy with long hair, a purse, and walking to wherever you’re going because you just got off the bus, is not sexy.

Have a sandwich. Cut the hair. Lose the purse. Buy a car. Be a man.

You’re not rockin’ the look you THINK you’re rockin’.

Seriously. Trust me on this one.